Unchosen (Chosen #2) Read online

  “Yes! Okay. Good. That’s great! Just give me a minute to throw on more clothes,” I sputtered as I passed by him on my way to my room. I thought I heard him say something like “not on my account” but I didn’t care. I was practically naked and Nick, who had called me beautiful in bed last night, was back. But why?

  “So how come you came back? Did you forget something?” I said, smiling and groaning at the same time at this very untimely and awkward situation. I walked out in a sweater and yoga pants.

  He looked me up and down and it felt like I was still in my underwear the way he perused my body. “I just wanted to apologize. I wanted to call you but you said you were going to sleep in so I went home and showered. Then I remembered you weren’t getting Niall until the afternoon. So, I figured I would just come and say I was sorry in person,” he said.

  “Nick. What are you sorry about?” I asked perplexed. “I had a ton of fun last night! It was you I was sorry for.”

  “Last night was amazing for me. Lizzie, I didn’t set you and Drew up. He called yesterday and asked if he could come along. Yesterday morning, Caroline practically begged me to come. Then there was this thing…” Nick threw his hands through his hair. “Shit, then the whole Drew and Caroline situation,” he fumbled on his words.

  I shook my head and smiled up to him. “The only person that should apologize is Drew. And it should be to you!” I said. “I don’t know very much about Caroline, obviously, but she was certainly not into Phish.” I giggled a little, thinking of her snotty demeanor walking up and down Shakedown Street.

  He nodded once and turned to take a look around the room, trying to figure something out in his head. “So, when do you pick up your son?” he asked.

  I looked to the clock on the cable box. “I guess I should pick him up in like two or three hours? I haven’t heard from my parents, so I think they are doing just fine without me.”

  “Do you want to go get some lunch?” he asked with a spark of hope in his eyes. Oh, honey, I would go anywhere with you right now. Just being around Nick was intoxicating.

  “Sure! There is a great diner right down the road and they serve breakfast all day on Sundays. I haven’t eaten anything yet,” I said.

  Nick waited in the kitchen while I got my red, curled up mess of hair tied back and pulled on some boots. I didn’t care what I looked like. Besides, he had just seen my baby fat come out of my camisole and his hands were on my actual stomach last night. Stretch marks and all. He said I was beautiful. But I would not mention that exchange to him. Ever.

  I nodded at the door to let Nick know I was ready to go. He opened the door for me and locked it from the inside as I started down the stairs. We headed out to his car. In my driveway, there was a silver Mercedes Benz. I whistled. “Wow, you IT geeks make some great cash, huh?” I asked.

  Nick snorted. “We do okay,” he said. An uncomfortable look flashed across his face as he opened my door and waited for me to get in before he closed it. Texas men certainly had manners. I don’t remember another time in my life when a man opened doors for me.

  Ten minutes later, we were sitting at a corner booth at one of my favorite diners in Watertown. Checkered floors and torn, beat up red pleather booths made that place so unique, although to a first timer, they would probably think it was a dive. Despite its outward appearance, the staff was friendly and the actual diner was very clean. I couldn’t say enough about the food on our drive over. The food wasn’t typical greasy diner food. It was so yummy; you could almost eat the smells when you walked in. We both ordered the breakfast special, pancakes, eggs and sausage. As we started in on preparing our coffee, Nick looked at me pointedly.

  “Seriously,” he said. “Thank you and I am sorry for all the drama yesterday. You were a champ.”

  “Ha! Believe me, last night was nothing compared to some of the shit I have seen,” I replied, taking a look out at the sunny afternoon. I thought back to the night I had to body slam my friend to keep her from driving drunk. I shook my head, thinking about what happened that night and, well, every night thereafter that summer. Teagan.

  “Do you think so? I thought that was pretty crazy. I felt bad,” he said.

  I shrugged one shoulder as I took another sip of my coffee. I darted my eyes away from his face and saw a girl blatantly staring at him. Somehow, after our night together and then sleeping together platonically while thinking of Teagan, I had forgotten how absolutely attractive he was. I looked into his eyes, which were completely fixed on mine. Those eyes were so warm and sincere. Why am I not just gushing over this guy like that girl? He is incredibly good looking and yet, my mask is in the way. The wall is up and it isn’t coming down for anyone. Or maybe it was the fact that he just saw me in my underwear and I already felt close to him in some way. Nonetheless, I wasn’t looking. I never would be looking. I just wanted a friend.

  The waitress came with our plates and we ate in comfortable silence. Occasionally, I would peek up to him, more self conscious than only a few minutes earlier. He was always looking at me when I looked up.

  “Lizzie, what happened to you?” he asked finally.

  I looked around to see what was happening around me. I looked down at my clothes and saw nothing seemed out of place. I looked up to Nick, totally confused. “Huh?”

  “Lizzie, I want to know what happened with Niall,” he said reverently.

  “Oh, that. Hmm,” I said with a strained face. “I rarely talk about that. It was a royally messed up situation and it ruined me.”

  He dropped his fork on his plate loudly and I startled. “What?” I asked.

  “You, Lizzie, are not ruined! You are so much fun to be around and just… so amusing. You obviously work hard and are incredibly intelligent,” he said. “Plus, you are a sexy dancer.” He smirked and took a sip of his coffee. Gah, the guy was really good at flattering a woman.

  My blush was bright red. “Last night was pretty fun. I haven’t danced like that in a while. Liquid courage, I guess.” I chuckled, feeling insecure. Had I really been over the top last night?

  “I wasn’t talking about last night,” he said with a big grin.

  I looked perplexed for a moment until I realized he walked in on me dancing in my underwear this morning. “Oh God,” I groaned. “I never get to pump up the music like that with Niall around. That was… super embarrassing”

  Nick snickered. His grin let me know he was amused to be the only one in on my dancing naked secret. He grew serious and pointedly looked at me. “Okay,” he said. “If you aren’t going to tell me now about Niall and what happened with his father, will you eventually?”

  I looked at him with a knot in my throat and said, “I honestly don’t know, Nick. I don’t. It is a complicated part of me that is very hard to explain. Let’s just say I don’t want pity from any more people in this world. I have somehow gained enough pride over the last year to know I made mistakes. I learned those mistakes will prevent me from ever falling in love again.”

  Nick looked at me. I smiled. He didn’t. His face was unreadable and all of a sudden, I was tired. I just wanted my baby, my couch, and a good television show. This was supposed to be a fun little breakfast with a friend. I didn’t need any more therapy sessions. The one therapist I saw when Teagan left told me I was codependent and needed to work on being alone for a while. After several sessions, I announced I would never fall in love again and I thanked her for being such a great therapist. I never went back to her again. I was cured.

  Nick looked down to his plate of food with distaste. Without looking back up at me, he whispered, “You were in love with him.” It wasn’t a question. I was shocked by his statement and looked up to him with trepidation. How did he know? My eyes started to tear up and I replied, “Yes. I was.”

  Nick nodded down at his food with a weak smile. A moment later, he looked at me with a questioning look, like I should keep talking.

  “His name was Teagan. He hurt me. Or I let him hurt me. I don’t know. Anyway,
he is gone. He lives in Ireland,” I said. I shuddered at my admission to him and I raked my fingers through my hair. Why am I telling him this? Nick is beautiful and kind and wonderful. Talking about Teagan always put me in a foul mood and I didn’t want to be pitiful in front of Nick. I wanted him to see the success mask I wore everyday to the city. This personal time with him was something to cherish and it felt awkward to talk about Teagan.

  I sighed and sat back into the booth. I crossed my arms over my heart in a protective position. I would not show Nick my broken heart. I did not want pity or sorrow from Nick. I wanted his friendship, his smile and his flawless easiness. And yes, somehow, this lovely man did distract me from the pain I felt when I thought about Teagan. Maybe I was using him but I didn’t care. Whatever could take me away from those painful memories on endless loop was a step in the right direction.

  “Can I just ask you a couple of questions? You don’t have to answer me if you get too uncomfortable? I just want to know you, Lizzie,” he pleaded.

  I shrugged and put out my hands for him to ask. “Go ahead. Ask.”

  “Did you meet him in Ireland?”

  I shook my head vigorously. “No, he lived here for a summer. I don’t know where he lives in Ireland. My parents offered to send me on a trip there when Niall gets a little older but I don’t know. It doesn’t feel right. We are in Boston if he wants to see us, you know? I don’t want to stir up more confusion or unnecessary drama,” I said.

  Nick nodded and took a sip from his coffee. He let out a sigh like he was full and sat back in his seat. Before he could ask his next question, the waitress put our check on the table and he snatched it up before I could.

  “Ass,” I half sneered half laughed.

  “IT geek, remember?” he asked coolly. I smiled at him and the way he could switch gears from unhappy topics to being in the moment.

  It occurred to me then that I had just opened up to Nick about Teagan and Niall and he had gotten me to do it easily. Despite my reluctance to talk about my past, he still tricked me into it. I beamed at him and felt a flicker of trust for another man I hadn’t felt in a long time.

  ELEVEN

  Nick and I had lunch almost every day from that weekend on and he would never ever let me pay. He was the perfect gentleman friend. We talked on the phone and emailed daily. He spoke a lot about his family life in Texas. He had decided to stay in Boston for the upcoming holidays and when I asked him why, he mentioned his parents might come to town instead but work was too busy and he couldn’t leave. I talked about Niall’s little baby milestones and I was pleasantly surprised how easily I got accustomed to sharing those details with him. Nick was still dating other girls here and there. I was always curious about the dates. I enjoyed living vicariously through his single life so much so that sometimes I asked him questions about the girls ad nauseam.

  I got the sense he was annoyed that I asked but he didn’t understand what my life was like. I went home every night to one little man who didn’t eat sushi or even talk, for that matter. But as I constantly reminded Nick we were just friends, he started opening up about his dates. He would mostly tell me the disastrous ones. We would make fun of the girls and their expectations of what a date with Nick Sawyer was like. I would always refer to him as the “The Great and Almighty Nick Sawyer” and he would groan when I answered the phone or addressed him that way in an email.

  I didn’t know his true feelings for me but we were becoming closer as friends. The conversations about his dates prevented me from throwing myself at him when I had lascivious feelings towards him. I still had dreams about him at night and I would feel strange the next morning like I was missing something. I registered I was just lonely and Nick provided me with what the dating life was really like out there in the world as a singleton. It was a perfect situation.

  On occasional weeknights, after Niall went to bed, he would come over and we would play Scrabble or read to each other. Sometimes, he showed up with a romantic book and other times he would show up with a Stephen King book. Any book was perfectly fine with me because his voice could make anything sound interesting. Occasionally, we watched a movie but more than anything, we talked and joked around as easily as two friends who had known each other for years. Nick was someone I trusted. He reminded me a lot of hanging out with Sean, an old friend that got me through the heart ache of losing Teagan. But my heavy metal tattoos artist was not Nick. Nick was so utterly sexy he made my mouth water more often than not. Sometimes I caught him looking at me with a thoughtful expression. Instead of asking him what he was thinking, I distracted myself. My physical attraction to Nick never went away. We would brush up against each other when grabbing Scrabble tiles or while making popcorn and stop mid air but we never said anything about it. Sometimes, I wanted to but I just couldn’t cross the line with Nick. My body wanted him but my rational brain and stone cold heart screamed no.

  One of Nick’s date free Friday nights, he came over to watch a movie. He said he would watch whatever I wanted and that night I was in the mood for a hopeless romantic comedy for the first time. That did not go unnoticed to me. Of course, like any guy, he fell asleep during the first half of the movie but I smiled at his bravery. He was such a good sport, spending his Friday night with the poor single mother at home. Like being sucked into a painting, I found myself watching Nick instead of the movie. I examined his long lashes and focused on his parted lips in rhythmic breath. Small flutters of anticipation overcame me as I thought if I only moved my lips over his. If I only crawled up next to him and let him spoon me the way he did that first night in my bed. The phone rang and I sprang up off the couch to get it before it woke Niall.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, Lizzie, it’s Drew.”

  “Oh, hey. Drew,” I replied. “Are you looking for Nick?”

  “No. Actually, I was looking for you. Are you busy?” he asked.

  “Um…” I said, looking quickly over at Nick to see he was still sleeping. “No, it’s fine. What’s up?”

  “Well, I am out at a bar and one of my friends brought his coworker along. It turns out you may know him,” he said.

  “Huh? Drew, what are you talking about? What friend?” I asked, sounding a little annoyed even to me.

  “Let me put him on the phone,” he said and then I heard the loud bar background and a shuffling of the phone.

  “Lizzie?” My whole body went rigid. My stomach dropped out of my body and smashed all over the floor. I wanted to be sick. I put my arm out towards the wall but didn’t touch it so I swayed a little too much until I found myself folded on the floor.

  “Freddie?” I whispered.

  “Lizzie! Oh man. I can’t believe it’s you. We are here at The Greatest and I overheard this guy, Drew, talking about Lizzie O’Malley and it… it’s you!” he said, sounding excited.

  “Freddie, what are you doing in Boston?” I asked. Please don’t let Teagan be here, please don’t let Teagan be here.

  “I am here for work. The company I work for in Cork needed me to help the Boston office. Lizzie, I have been looking for you for weeks. How are you? Can you come down and have a drink?” he asked.

  “Oh, no, Freddie. I am home. In bed. I can’t… I mean, Jesus. This is a shocking surprise,” I breathed out in gasps. My heart would not stop pounding.

  I felt Nick come up behind me and sit on the floor. He put his hand on my arm that was covering my eyes and pulled it down. I looked at him in shock and he gave me a worried look. “What is it,” he mouthed.

  I shook my head at him. “Listen, Freddie. Now isn’t a good time. I have company,” I said. Oh, thank God, I had company.

  “Lizzie. I know we didn’t say goodbye on good terms but you are a friend. Please, let’s meet soon, okay?” he asked, sounding a bit desperate.

  I thought for a long moment. I didn’t know what to say. This was too much. Too much. This was splitting the whole wound open again and it felt wrong. I forced away the thought. I just wanted to get
off the phone.

  I heard Niall crying and looked up in surprise. Niall! Oh my God. “Listen, Freddie. You can get my number from Drew. I just have to go. Sorry,” I said and hung up.

  Nick was already on his feet towards Niall’s room. He had never gone into his room before but in that moment, I was so glad he was there. I got up quickly and followed him in. I was shaking so bad, I didn’t know if I could even pick him up.

  Nick went to the baby, began to hum to him, and rubbed his back. I put my arms on the crib and threw my head down over it. Then Nick started rubbing my back, too.

  “Oh. My. God,” I said, feeling a panic attack coming on.

  Nick stopped rubbing my back and I stood up to see Niall had gone back to sleep. We quietly left his room and Nick turned to face me.

  “Lizzie, what is it? Was that Drew? Why is Drew calling you? I mean, I know I gave him your number before Phish but I didn’t know he still called you,” he said.

  “Um, no, no. He doesn’t call me. But, yeah, he did tonight but not for that or anything,” I said, trying to sort out the details in my mind so I could speak coherently. “Drew called because he ran into an old friend of mine. I…I don’t know. I don’t know anything other than Boston is becoming a bit too fucking small of a world for me,” I said, looking off to the wall behind him.

  Nick put his hands on my shoulders and my eyes met his. “What did he want, Lizzie?” he asked pointedly.