Both of Her Read online

  Colin parks on the side of the road in front of the large building. As I start to get out, I realize Colin is trying to jump over a monster snow bank to get to me.

  “No, Colin. Don’t worry. I’ll call when I’m ready to get picked up. I have a feeling I’m going to be in here a while.”

  He doesn’t look pleased with me going in alone and I understand his reasoning. I think Mitch would have offered to join me, if he wasn’t the last standing partner at Divider. Once everything has calmed the fuck down in my life, I’m sending those two off for two weeks of enjoyment, so I can be the one to hold down the fort and they can have a break. But first, I have to get passed Colin to start getting things fixed in my life. I give him a look like he really shouldn’t fuck with me and he nods in acquiescence.

  Before I get two steps away, he grabs my arm. “Luca, wait.”

  I look back at him with impatience. “Yeah?”

  “Do you think your life is in danger?” he asks. “I saw the way you were this morning. You were…really fucked up. I mean, are they going to be able to tell you what happened?”

  “I don’t know, Colin. I’m trying to take everything one step at a time.” I exhale. “No, I don’t think my life is in danger. I think a greedy fucker wanted my stash of jewels and to fuck with me. I’ll be okay, but right now, I need to see Camden.”

  He releases his hold on me and nods again with a small smile. “There’s never a boring day with you around, Ms. West.”

  I scoff at him. “Shit, Colin. You need to go get laid. I can’t be more boring.”

  He laughs out loud and I shake my head at our familiar banter. “I’ll call later,” I yell out behind me, as I make my way up the steps. The police headquarters is a busy place with people waiting, being hauled in, and victoriously walking out. I have absolutely no idea where the hell I am going.

  I walk down a long hall to a bunch of doors. When I get to the first door, I open it and notice it is for the filing clerk. I walk to the next door and before I can open it, the door flies open and I run straight into Camden. He looks shocked to see me.

  “Luca? Jesus, are you alright? Baby, I’ve been so worried about you all day.” He hugs me harder than I’ve ever been hugged by another human being and I start to cry.

  “Fuck,” he mutters out. “What happened? Tell me everything.”

  I shake my head and feel so damn stupid. “I feel so terrible for thinking it was you. I didn’t know what to think, Camden. Then when I got to work and found the pearls, I knew it wasn’t you.”

  “What?” He looks like he is homicidal. “Someone was in your office at work?”

  I nod. “I need to go talk to the police investigator on my case. There’s so much more going on then you know about right now. Will you come and listen to me?” I ask, feeling very naïve and hopeless.

  “Of course. I was coming to find you. I am here to protect you. We can talk about all that other bullshit later.”

  Why is he being so good to me? I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve his kindness.

  Then again, maybe I deserve everything I am getting right now and Camden is just a small consolation prize. I give him a small smile and take his hand in mine as we head into the office.

  I recognize the first officer I see as one from the scene of my disastrous dressing room this morning. He smiles up at me and quirks his head to the side, showing me which room we will be going into. Camden starts to follow behind me and the officer clears his throat. When we both look up, he shakes his head at Camden. My face falls.

  “Okay, baby. I will be right out here waiting for you. Please, tell him everything you know. Don’t leave anything out, because we are going to find this guy and I am going to fucking…”

  I cut him off with a soft kiss to his lips. “I don’t think it’s such a good idea to say such things in a police station.”

  He chuckles.

  “But Camden? What if the guy that’s after me is someone very close to you?” I ask, pleading with my eyes for him to understand.

  He shakes his head in confusion.

  “I think we are looking for a man named Heath Landon.”

  He goes rigid as I pat his chest, before turning around and heading straight into the investigator’s office.

  ***

  “I’m sorry if this inconveniences you in any way, ma’am, but this is an investigation, at this point everyone is a suspect.” I struggle to breathe. The sudden need to have Camden, Colin, or anyone who I trust in this room with me, as Detective Watts instructs me I cannot go home and I have to close the doors of Divider, until they do an entire sweep of my residence and my office has my nerves worked up.

  “I understand.”

  These days of lethal injections into my system are more than I can take. I am going out of my ever loving mind. It’s gone, drowning at the bottom of the lake in an undercurrent so cold and deep, I’m toiling with the will to survive. I stand my appearance on the outside resilient to this devious plan of someone out to destroy my sanity or quite possibly my life. On the inside, I’m dreadfully frightened of who this could be. I would bet every dime I own it’s not Mitch or Leo. No god damn way. Those men are just as much a part of my family as I am theirs. Annie and I have had a rough week, but no, she wouldn’t have the resources to invoke this upon me. The gut wrenching urge to break down and cry strikes me hard. I need to get out of here and find somewhere to stay. I will not show my weakness in front of anyone. I can’t. I refuse.

  “Jesus, what is going on? I’ve been pacing…” I shut Camden up with a soft kiss to his perfect mouth. The way his arms wrap around me, holding me against him make me feel safe – at home. The steady rhythm of his heart pounding quickly in his chest when I place my hand over it, my palm spread just to feel, to know this man is real.

  “I’m so…”

  “Shh. No. Not one word. Not here. I have a cab waiting for us. We are leaving. Going where no one can find us, then we will talk.”

  Camden totes me behind him, his hand firmly grasping mine, his body protecting me as we make swift, precise movements down the hall and out the door of the police station. For the first time since I’ve moved to Chicago, the blast of the cold air feels good on my overheated skin. I was suffocating in the Police Department.

  “Colin, what happened?” I ask, coming to a halt at the bottom of the steps. I hadn’t expected him to still be here.

  “I couldn’t leave. I’m your driver and your friend. It isn’t in my job description, as either, to leave you alone. Did you get any answers when you were in there?” he asks, looking pained.

  I shake my head in defeat. I can’t remember feeling so out of control about my life ever before.

  “Okay, well then, get in the car.” His eyes gaze to the door he is opening for me. While I’m not sure he trusts Camden too much after what he saw that morning in my apartment, he lets him pass.

  Of course, the two men size each up like their anchors on a game of tug of war.

  “Camden, this is my friend and driver, Colin. I trust him. He can take us wherever we need to go,” I offer up, doing my best to break up this nice little duo of piss meet vinegar on the streets of Chicago.

  “I told you, we need to go where no one knows where we are,” Camden whispers in my ear.

  “Will be right there, Colin. Thanks for being the true friend I know you are and waiting for me while I was in there.”

  Giving Camden my undivided attention, I seek his warmth, wrapping my arms around him. I look into his eyes and see concern. I look back at him, trying to express I will be okay and letting him know I appreciate him, as well. I convey this with a kiss to his cheek, my hands rubbing up and down the stubble on his face. He looks tired and worried. It’s my turn to go into protective mode for everyone; especially Colin. He’s always been there to support me. I won’t have Camden thinking he is any type of threat to us. “I’ve known Colin for years. He would never do anything to hurt me. I trust him with my life, Camden.”


  His tone edged with resentment, he replies, “He’s the only one, Luca. No one else can know where we will be.”

  Well, I don’t know about that, but I don’t tell him this. I’ll eventually need to tell Mitch, Leo, and Annie. The cold that felt so good moments earlier, has now frozen my ass. After the day I’ve had, all I want to do is go lay in a nice warm tub, erase the grim of today from my body, and call Mitch, Leo, and Annie to let them know whatever work has to be done we must be done from home

  “That’s fine,” I concede, releasing his handsome face. His firm hold on my neck shows his possessiveness right along with a hint of jealousy, I presume, as he helps me into the back of the car.

  “Where are you staying, by the way?” I grumble under my breath. I decide to ignore the continuing pissing match between the two men. I’ve had too much for one damn day to deal with between these two.

  “The Blackstone,” Camden replies dryly. “We won’t be staying there though,” he adds rather abrupt.

  “The Blackstone is a wonderful place. Not too far from my office. I would love to stay there with you,” I reply, rather pleased knowing how close he’s staying from the tall building, holding my office. An office I cannot go back to for several days.

  “Yes, it’s nice. However, you cannot stay at your apartment. I’m going to assume you cannot go to your office, so we are getting the hell out of Chicago.”

  “Where are we going?” I ask, not entirely peachy with any of this. There we go again, another time with no control.

  “I’ll tell you on the way.”

  I pout at his response, staring out the window, watching the Chicago traffic zoom by while Colin navigates through the traffic. Camden’s voice is polite on the phone. Colin’s not saying a word. His pissed off glare, directed at Camden, catching me every time our eyes connect in the rear view mirror. I scowl at him.

  “I’ll be just a minute,” Camden states, when the car comes to a stop outside The Blackstone. Camden steps out of the car for all of ten seconds, just enough time for Colin to finally speak.

  “I hope you trust this guy, Luca, because I sure as hell don’t have a good feeling about him.”

  I straighten my spine. “Jesus Christ, Colin. Would you stop? You know I appreciate your opinion and I get where it is coming from, okay? I get it all, but I do trust him. As a matter of fact, I feel myself falling.”

  “All set,” Camden states, climbing back in.

  “No bags?” I say, thankful for the interruption. I was about ready to say I’m in love. I must totally be losing my mind to even think such a thing.

  “In the trunk.”

  I shake my head, my brain rattled beyond comprehension.

  “Take us to The Ritz Carlton, please, Colin.” Camden’s politeness is back in full swing.

  This is absurd. Although the idea of staying at the Ritz is exciting, it’s unnecessary. It’s a nice, high class hotel that I’ve set up several of my prospective customers at, as well stayed in a few myself back when I escorted, which feels like an eternity ago, now that Camden is back. I hate this – all of it. Whoever is doing this to me has inconvenienced everyone I care about. Their hatred has absorbed its way into every aspect of my life, including my company. Here I sit, in the back of my car, wondering what I’ve done to anyone to have them coerce their way into my life; into the lives of my friends. Tears sting my eyes at my thoughts. I’m so afraid this person will not give up until they have obliterated me until I’m left with nothing. Maybe even until they end my life.

  FIFTEEN

  “Stunning,” I immediately say when we walk into the grand reception area of the Ritz. Marble floors decked out in the most intricate earth tone colors, a decorative water foundation in the center as the main focal point. Luxury at its finest. Colin never said one word when he dropped us off and I’m worried. I know our brother and sister relationship will never be broken, but he’s hurting at my hurt, that much I’m sure of. I love him even more for being so protective, as he’s always been. While Camden checks us in, I back away, digging my phone out of my purse and call Colin. Suddenly at ease when I hear his voice on the other end.

  “Need me to turn around?” he clips, answering my call.

  “Funny,” I say, all smart ass like, in hopes to bring back our normal banter. Instead there is nothing but silence from his end. I grovel my way through the conversation with him. His attitude lightens when I promise him he will be the first person I call if I need anything or if the police find out who’s doing this.

  “I appreciate you, Colin,” I say, keeping my eyes glued to Camden’s back. I don’t want him to get the wrong impression from the call.

  “I know, Luca. I’m worried about you, that’s all.”

  I toss back a small laugh, although there is nothing remotely funny about any of this. It’s just here I am, staying at the Ritz, miles from my home and office, realizing I have no clothes, no toiletries, nothing. Colin is so used to my aloof behavior he ignores my laugh.

  My thoughts wash away as Colin responds, “I sure as hell hope you know what you’re doing with this gut of yours, Luca. If he so much as gives you a papercut, I swear to you I’ll gut him, granted, I’m too busy to come back now, if you know what I mean.” I can hear the smile behind his words.

  “Colin, I’ve had a day from hell, and trust me, there’s no one else who I’d rather end this shit day with. I care about him and he cares about me. I trust him.” I turn my attention back to Camden, who is now smiling at me. “I have to go now.”

  I mouth Colin to Camden so he knows I’m not disclosing our location to anyone else. Camden rolls his eyes. I know neither of these two men can fully decipher what the other one really means to me.

  “Ready?” Camden holds out his hand.

  “Yes and thank you for this.” I take his hand into mine, relaxing to his touch. It’s not until we ascend up in the elevator that I begin to shake, wondering if this time with Camden will be cut short. I really have to tell him all about how I know Heath.

  “The Presidential Suite.” Camden’s breath brushes against my ear, the heat from his body radiating through my coat. I lean against him, burying my back into him. I memorize the feel of his body against mine, hoping it won’t be the last. I’m going to hurt him when I completely come clean. The man has his been hurt enough and now I’m sure to break him. For him to find out about his partner and me may send him away from me for good.

  I need him.

  I want him.

  Losing him would destroy every bit of sanity I have left, which isn’t much, but I have to be honest with him. I close my eyes, listening to the light click of the door as it opens. When I open them, the view in front of me takes what bit of oxygen I have left in my lungs.

  “My god.” I spin around in the huge foyer.

  “Christ,” Camden mutters.

  “I thought my view of the lake was impeccable, but this, this is a dream, Camden.” I frown and spin in his direction. “You really didn’t have to do this.”

  Our eyes meet, he diverts them to the view of the partially iced over lake. What’s left of the late afternoon sun seems to be trying to decipher whether it wants to stay buried under the gloomy winter clouds or peak its way through any opening it can find.

  “I did it for the both of us. I did it to keep you safe. Besides, we both need to work and there’s plenty of space here.”

  My excitement diminishes with his gloomy attitude. “What’s wrong?” I grimace at the way he’s standing away from me. His shoulders are slumped forward, hands burrowing deep into his pockets.

  “At the station you mentioned Heath’s name,” he states. I laugh to myself. There is absolutely no humor in the conversation we are embarking into. What I find funny is how well the two of us are able to read the other. It’s like the ten years apart never existed between us. Ironic really.

  “I did,” I respond, wishing I could avoid this conversation all together. As much as I would prefer to spend a quiet evening with hi
m, this needs to be done.

  “And?” he prompts.

  “I slept with him.” On impulse, the words stumble out of my mouth. How badly I wish I could shove them back, take them back, to make them not true.

  “I know.” He sounds diverse somehow from just a moment ago, relieved almost.

  “How do you know?” Boggled up inside at how this man seems to know my every move.

  “I told you. I’ve kept tabs on you, Luca.” He suddenly turns to face me. His eyes are full of so many emotions. Remorse. Hurt. Confusion. The one thing that’s not there is anger. Granted, he shouldn’t be angry with me. Humiliated yes. Angry No. What happened before he walked back into my life is none of his or anyone’s business.

  “I don’t know what to say.” My heart is thrumming so hard it physically hurts as I take a step toward him.

  “Say anything you want. Just spare me the details, please. It’s all I ask.”

  I nod my head. “Of course.” I only have one question to ask him and then I would love for nothing more than to put that sordid life behind me and move forward with Camden. To move past the life that I thought I couldn’t live without before he came back. That is assuming he still wants me.

  “Why didn’t you stop me if you knew?” My voice barely audible for my own ears.

  “I didn’t know it was you at first, not until Heath said your name. I was furious at him. He of course, didn’t know the real reason why. He thought it was because I had been investigating your firm. The whole, do not mix pleasure with business, before it even got started.”

  Guilt and shame rush through me. All of the pain I caused this man. I cannot lay emphasis on this. Not today, maybe not ever. I don’t owe him an apology, but I will still give him one and mean every word of it. I never again want to be the cause of any pain to him. All I want from this moment forward is to make him happy, to be the woman he wants, even if I don’t think I am her.

  “I’m sorry,” I express truthfully.

  “I’m sorry, too. I would have come for you and stopped it if I hadn’t been across the country. That’s why I called and made an appointment with your office right away. I’m also sorry you were so uncomfortable when Heath showed up. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away that I knew. I just… I wanted to know if you truly wanted me. If we could make this work between the two of us.”